Problems...

In the beginning it was complicated, cuz i was in a Relationship with someone else..but he fought for us to happen. He was so patient till I was ready for something new... I flew over to Sweden to see him more then once.. Then something happend and we had really  bad weeks without talking to each other and now, when I finally thought it would get better and maybe I was naive enough to believe, that maybe one day we would have a future together, getting old and grey together, would watch our Granchildren playing he had the nerv to tell me, that he never wanna get married either does he wanna have kids. How could I be so stupid to believe, he would like a future with me?  Next week iam flying over and Iam so scared, scared of what might happen. I told him my fear and the only thing he could say was... "Thats good, u should be!" Exuse me what is that suppost to mean? He comes up with something like " u cant have always the same feelings like exitment...bla bla bla!" He is the one who cant even tell me since Weeks what he feels for me! He cant say that he loves me!
In the past Weeks it broke me to see us like that, I explained more then once to him, that I was afraid of loosing him and he was just annoyed, that i found it necersary to talk about this, that I thought it was
my right to know whats going on between us. Am I really so stupid?  He know that I suffered under all this and still he does nothing to change the Situation. I just dont understand. He's like a Stranger to me. I still dont understand, why all this happened! To me it was just a change from one day to the other... I flew to Stockholm, every thing was ok...I came back and the Night I arrived in Dublin everything was changed. He told me if I would have done something wrong I'ld remember...but seriously i've absolutely NO Idea whats going on! I asked for explanations, but nothing came up! He was there for me in the hardest time i had in Ireland. He gave me the Power to continue..whenever i felt like giving up, he brought me back to earth.
Now it just feels like iam a stupid little Girl, that cant understand that her Boyfriend is avoiding her. It feels like, he wanted me in the beginning, but now iam just someone who deserves to get hurt. Maybe I deserve it.. Maybe I was stupid enough to believe that he loves me and he wants me as the Person Iam...not as the Person iam not. Now whenever he talks to me, its just weird, rude and I cant get rid of the feeling that he wants to fight all the time. I just dont understand, that why if he feels like breaking up with me, what for gods sake stopps him from doing it? Why in Gods Name do he has to hurt me do much?
I feel like everything bad is my fault. I dont know, but whenever i talk to him it feels like a game.. Bad Cop good Cop. Somehow he playes always the role of the good Cop.. iam so tired of being the bad Cop. I wish he could undetstand my point of view. He's not even trying it.